I caught the tail end of a story about a former Sotheby's chairman who went to prison for fixing auction house commission rates. He was, and is, a bazillionaire. He served 9 months at a hospital prison and spent his time catching up on his reading and being served three square meals a day. Granted, those meals cost $2.55 per day, so it was no life in the lap of luxury. But the dude managed to take an extended break from the grind, do what he loves, and drop 27 pounds, on our tax dollars. He says he's innocent, but he's not bitter, and he believes in the system.
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I'd say so. I could use some of that system. I'd like an extended period of rest to read and lose some weight. I think it'd do me a world of good.
And then when I emerge from said holiday, I'll write a book about it all and receive Donald Trump, my gorgeous Miss Israel wife and Henry Kissinger among others at a fabulous launch party to sell my books and welcome me back to the glamorous life I was forced to remove myself from. More money, parties, champagne and media coverage to celebrate little, old, rested-up, smiling me. Because I've got money and I like lovely things. Funny how they always go together, no?
But the upshot of this for me? I think prison is exactly what I need right now.
How sad is that?
4 comments:
No. You don't need prison. Granted, it if were the bazillionare's prison you were going to, sure. But chances are, you'd end up in the prison with murderers, drug addicts, pedophiles, etc. in the most unsavory of conditions.
No. What you need is a vacation, or a sabbatical, or a leave of absence, or whatever people do to get away for a bit. But I assure you, prison ain't it. ;-D
All that aside, I know what you are saying. Hopefully you will get at least a reprieve, even a short one, sooner rather than later.
if i ever go to the big house, i'm going to lift weights all the time and just get ripped.
and maybe i'll create my own reality show competition, entitled, "who's my daddy?" and i can choose my protector inmate among several possible wannabes.
I want to go to prison, too. I keep thinking, I could meditate, read, it would be great. I'm with you, sad to say.
And yes, how frightening is it that pretty normal people would look forward to prison in order to get some rest, not have to worry about bills, etc.
I get the top bunk though. Oh, wait., I'm short. Guess it's the bottom.
oog
I used to think prison would be a good respite (that's the right word, right?). And a good excuse to be out of touch for a while. I actually know someone that spent some time in a low-security Federal pen. Did 'em a world of good. Straightened them up too.
Now, although it's high pressure, I have too much going on that I like to take a break. The thought of reassembling all that after I get back is the stuff nightmares are made of. Then again, removing the shackles of all the baggage one collects by mid-life, that's the stuff dreams are made of.
What was I saying. Oh, yeah. Come to Chicago, I'll loan you the keys to my place and you can pretend it's prison for a week if you don't leave. Prison with wi-fi and a 50-inch plasma. You'll have to bring you own groceries though. And something to cook them in.
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