Away, again

I am so ready to enter another world for a little while. That inevitably means I'll be spiralling deeper into myself. But at least there will be prettier landscape surrounding me. And I won't have to look at all these friggin' boxes anymore.

That's right. I'm off to Ireland and Scotland for a month. I'm leaving behind my laptop this time and pretty much anything else that might weigh me down. It's all about bringing as little as possible to make room for what greets me.

Here's what I'm most looking forward to:

*seeing old, dear friends and searching for one particular long lost one
*returning to places that are infused with meaning for me
*retreating to a little island to write and walk and swim
*going wild at the Edinburgh Festival
*riding horses on the beach

I haven't quite figured out how, when or where I'll tackle that last one, but it's been on my list for a while. And why the hell not?

I've been so wrapped up in sorting through junk, selling junk, giving it away, packing it up, finding a place to live, preparing to be gone for a while and dive right back into it when I get back, that I haven't taken much time to ponder this trip. I've gone to Ireland so many times now that it feels less like a huge trip than it once did. It's kind of like going home without all the crap that comes with having to deal with family.

And yet I am aiming to confront parts of my past. Come to terms with my younger self. Reconcile with her.

I probably won't be blogging much while I'm away, but I'll post photos when I return.

Wish me luck (whatever that is)!

Chaos, of the soon ending, good variety

Where have I been for the past few weeks? Searching for a new place to live, sorting through 30 years of belongings, and packing it all up. I've donated as much as I've thrown away, and I'm fixin' to have a big ass garage sale.

Why did I decide to do this three weeks before I leave for a month in Europe? Because that's the way I roll. Grace under pressure. Need deadline tension to get anything done.

I think I'm over the crying jags, the insurmountable stress phase, and onto the looking forward part. With many, many thanks to my Aunt, Uncle and Mom for being good company and busting tail to help me prepare for this move.

I found out yesterday I got the place I really want with the move-in date that I want, so now it's just a matter of wrapping things up.

Ultimately, this will be truly liberating. No doubt. I've been living in my ex's house for the three years since I broke up with him. He doesn't technically live here, but to be painfully honest, on some level, I've been waiting for him to come home; and, I'm still engaged in the shitty relationship I thought I ended three years ago. No more.

Although he is coming to town this weekend, in the middle of my garage sale. It won't be easy, but it might be good to have a "last day of our acquaintance." I don't know if there's such a thing as closure. These things just fade away with time. I'm ready to speed up that process.

In other news, I cut my hair, which is no longer blonde, short. You know something's up when a woman does something drastic to her hair.

It's all change, change, change. I think Mercury's in retrograde, but it'll be coming out, soon. By then, I'll be in Ireland, then on to Scotland, then into a new home, which is very cute. I am so looking forward to not taking care of a house. No more lawn to mow, leaves to rake, snow (and chipmunks) to remove. I'm going to let all that stuff be someone else's responsibility for a while. I'll miss the lake, but I've promised MT and Kiki that next summer we'll rent a cottage up north on a bigger, prettier, Superior lake and just kick it for a week or so.

In the meantime, I'll be living in a gorgeous, old, renovated flat within walking distance of work, school, the newspaper, Kiki, every bar and restaurant I'd ever want to patronize, and with any luck, my new boyfriend.

Because I'm making space for the good stuff, y'all.