Welcome, Tyler P.!

This is my baby. He's one week old today. Okay, he lives in Texas, so he's not really my baby. I didn't make him or grow him or birth him. BFF did. But ain't he cute? I'm his proud auntie. Auntie M.

It's killing me that I haven't met him yet. But I have to wait until he goes home with mama and daddy. He's still in the hospital, but they've moved him from the heated bed, and if he can maintain his temperature, he'll get to go home this week.

I'm so glad BFF has had a baby for me. I'm reading a book
about how few published women writers there are and why. It's kind of a bummer, but it has also validated my life. It's very difficult to be an earner and a creator at the same time. And it's even harder to be a mama and a worker and an artist all at the same time. Damn near impossible. Especially without outside help.

And so it is for good reason that I am not married and not having babies. It's for annoying reasons that I hold something like 8 jobs to keep afloat, but I'm just paying my dues. . . .

The point is I'm reminded that I'm giving birth to myself. Again and again. That writing for me is breathing; it's as essential, although it doesn't quite come as easily. It's what I do, it's how I live. And thank God there are magnificent human beings such as my BFF and her huzzie birthing and rearing children right now. So I can write my book without guilt or pressure to propagate the species.

And I can't wait to see what path Tyler chooses for himself, although thank God he won't have to struggle with being only one out of 12 writers on the shelf. I pray he learns the power of his privilege and does nothing but good with it. From the look of things, he's already on his way. . . .

Why is it so important

. . . for us to believe others are just like us?

*asks the woman who declared during her Tuesday night Women's Lit class (when pushed to explain why she had a hard time reading Virginia Woolf's "To the Lighthouse"), "I just wanted the characters to do something. I wanted them to be more like me!"*

Au revoir, fair lady.

You were one hell of a broad.

I sure was glad to meet you and work on your campaign when I was just a lass. And I'm especially glad I got to tell you so when I bumped into you on Market Street in San Francisco a couple years ago. That shock of white hair and crystal-clear blue eyes couldn't have belonged to anyone else.

"You're the Texas governor who should be in the White House," I said to herself. "Well bless your little heart," she said back.

Politics sure could use more of your spirit, especially on the national stage.

Where the hell did everyone's sense of humor go, anyway? Terrorism, war, destruction, corrupt politics, suffering are here to stay. But does that mean we can't be smart and spunky anymore? God damn.

How can we honor her memory?

Harumph.

So shortly home, yet so many problems already.

1. The PhD is wearing me down. Do I really want to do this academic gig? Sure, I love to learn, I love to teach, I love to write, but wouldn't being a full-time journalist afford me those things? But then there are the summers off. . . .

2. A lover. I'm lacking one. I'm ready for him. I did manage to break the curse/spell I was under during my jolly good time in Europe. That's all I'll say on that. Yup. It was that good. Now I'm ready for more. Longer-term, loving, devoted understanding, intimacy, adoration and frolicking. It is not too much to ask. I know this now.

3. Consuming too much beer, gelato and foie gras for three months equals me plus 10 pounds. I've dropped 3, but the others can't come off fast enough, dammit! It's soooo much easier and fun to put them on than take them off. But ain't nothing worth suffering in tight pants. Oy!

4. Shall I go to this or not this year?

5. Did I mention I'm turning 30 in two months? I'm thinking party in Chicago this year. Day after Thanksgiving, y'all!

In happier, non-whiny news, BFF birthed a beautiful baby boy yesterday! We welcome their new, little marvel of a precious person to the world. Yay hope for the future! And a quick recovery to the other Mz. M from her C-section. Ouch.

And I promise updated flicker photos by the weekend. . . .

Well, I've been back for a while now

. . . and I've had lots to say, but mostly to live people in person. That's the beauty of coming home after a long journey. It's good to be back. I've dived right back into all my jobs and responsibilities, but most importantly, into the arms of family and friends. After spending a month travelling alone, I'm awfully happy to be with people who know and love me.

A hell of a lot happened between the last time I wrote and now. Glorious, delightful fun. I have photos. I'll share. Later.