Shell shocked

Okay, so it's true. There's a real possibility, but no concrete offer of a new position with lots more money and perhaps less work. But it's in an entirely different direction than where I thought I was headed. Means full time administrative work, no more teaching journalism. Or still teaching journalism, but for no more money--just cuz I love it and want to do it.

Ugh. I hate administrative work.

I just have to keep thinking about the father's speech in "Long Day's Journey Into Night." He's lamenting the fact that he could have been a Shakespearean actor, but he's ended up a hack who has played the same role over and over again because it made him a good living. He ends with "What is it I wanted to buy that was worth. . . . "

This haunts me.

I'm calling my therapist.